How it works
How a fantasy football league gets roasted every week
Connect your Sleeper or ESPN league once. From then on, an AI writes up everything your league does — every week, with names.
Three steps
- One person connects the league. On Sleeper that’s just your username, and every season the league has ever played comes with it. On ESPN, the league needs to be set to viewable-to-public.
- Everyone else makes an account and their team attaches to them — a Sleeper username, or a pick from the ESPN team list. Nothing else to set up.
- The AI writes the paper every week. No volunteer, no group-chat historian, nobody to forget.
What gets written up
Front page
- Weekly Chaos
- The week’s damage report. Highest score, lowest score, the man who won by accident, and the points you left rotting on your bench — counted out loud.
The Blotter
- The Obituaries
- Every team that loses gets a written cause of death. Nobody has ever agreed with theirs.
- Financial Crimes
- Your worst waiver-wire decisions, pulled out and priced — what you paid, what the next-highest bid actually was, and what the player did afterwards. The bidding was blind. The verdict is not.
- Crimes Against Fantasy
- Starting a player on his bye. Benching the one who went off for forty. Dropping a guy the week before he woke up. Each gets its own case file.
- The Missing Persons Desk
- For the manager who quietly stopped setting a lineup in October. Case opened, last known activity on file, and everybody gets to read it.
The Almanac
- The Reach Registry
- A receipt for every player you took two rounds early in the draft because somebody was about to take him. Nobody was about to take him.
- The Fraud Index
- How much of your season was luck, scored out of 100 and ranked. Wins donated by an opponent having their worst week, or chops you survived by a hair. Luck is not a skill.
The Permanent Record
- The Grudge Report
- Your entire head-to-head record against every person in this league, kept forever. It also names your rivalries. You do not get to pick the name.
- The Trauma Archives
- Every season your league has ever played, indexed by who it happened to. Including the year nobody talks about.
Public notices
- Collusion Court
- Submit the trade you are certain was a robbery. Receive a written verdict. There is no appeals process.
Want to see the actual writing first? Read the sample roasts.
Questions
What is The League Roast?
An AI-written weekly tabloid about your fantasy football league. It reads your league’s scores, lineups, trades, waiver claims and draft, then writes up what happened — the blowouts, the benched forty-point games, the FAAB overpays — with every manager named.
Which fantasy football platforms does it work with?
Sleeper (including guillotine / chopped leagues) and ESPN. ESPN works with public leagues for the current season; past ESPN seasons can be added with a one-time ESPN login that is used once and thrown away. Yahoo isn’t hooked up yet.
Do I need to be the commissioner?
On Sleeper, no — any manager in the league can connect it. On ESPN, the commissioner has to switch the league to “viewable to public” first (one setting, and it can be turned off any time). Everyone else signs up and their team attaches itself.
Does it include past seasons?
Yes. On Sleeper, every previous season of the league comes with it automatically, so head-to-head records, rivalries and the Trauma Archives go back as far as the league does.
How often does it update?
Every week of the NFL season. Scores sync on their own; nobody has to press anything.
How much does it cost?
Every league gets its first two NFL weeks free with no card. After that one league pass unlocks the whole league for the season: $49 for your first league, $29 for each additional one. Nothing auto-renews.
Can I share the roasts?
That’s the point. Any card can be sent to the group chat as an image.
Your league has been doing this for years.
Nobody was writing it down.
Two NFL weeks free per league. No card required.
All roasts, headlines, and personal attacks on this platform are generated by artificial intelligence. The AI has been briefed on your league data and instructed to be mean about it. Content may include profanity, morally dubious hot takes, and observations your friends were too polite to say out loud. By continuing, you confirm you have seen your own box score and accept the consequences.