The League Pass
Stop Free-Rolling Your League
Every league gets two weeks on the house. After that, exactly one person in the group chat has to reach for a wallet.
Two Weeks, On The House
Every league opens with 2 NFL weeks of full access — the week it plays its first real game, and the week after. Every tab unlocked, no card required. When those two weeks are up the presses stop until someone buys a league pass. There is no free plan waiting underneath.
The League Pass
Your First League
Paid once. Nothing renews, nothing to cancel.
- ✓The whole league — every member, not just the buyer
- ✓Full Weekly Chaos — every week (obituaries, heartbreaks, miracles)
- ✓Financial Crimes — full history
- ✓The Trauma Archives — every season your league has ever played
- ✓The Grudge Report
- ✓The Fraud Index + AI commentary
- ✓The Missing Persons Desk
- ✓Collusion Court verdicts
The Repeat Offender
Every League After
Same pass, second-league rate. Applied at checkout.
- ✓Everything in the first pass. All of it.
- ✓Applied automatically at checkout — no code to remember
- ✓Priced per league, per season, same as the first
- ✓Stacks: league three, four and five are $29 too
Questions We Get Tired of Answering
Is there a free trial?
Two NFL weeks per league — the week your league plays its first real game, and the one after it. No card, no signup gimmick. When it runs out the newsroom goes dark until somebody buys the pass.
Is there a free plan?
No. There is a trial and there is a pass. Two weeks to decide whether your leaguemates deserve this.
How many leagues can I run?
As many as you can stomach. Every league needs its own pass — $49 for the first, $29 for every one after that.
Does everyone in the league have to pay?
No. One pass unlocks the league for all twelve of you. Sort out who owes who in the group chat, like the animals you are.
What counts as a season?
August through February. Just like your suffering.
When do I get charged?
Once. Per league, per season. Nothing auto-renews — when next season drafts, you buy again or you go back to remembering things yourself.
Can I get the watermarks taken off?
No. Those are ours. Every screenshot your league posts is an ad, and that is the arrangement.
Do you offer refunds?
No. Neither does the waiver wire.
Is my league data safe?
Yes. We store it securely and never sell it. We just use it to roast your managers.